we'll see what happens. maybe this will work.. maybe not.

honestly..
don't fucking play with my emotions.
you were the one who wanted this.
you fed me the bullshit line of, "don't lose that, i'm gonna want it back - blah - blah"
and you're the one "meow-ing" me at fucking 2 o'clock in the morning.
dragging me along saying shit like, "i think i'm starting to see the picture"
and "i realized that i miss having someone to talk to"
and "i miss you" blah blah.
and now to find out you've been talking to another girl the whole time?!
well you know what?!
now, i'm not even depressed or heartbroken anymore, now i'm just fucking pissed.
GRRRR!!

When will I begin to forget the way you used to smile
And make the world make sence
Laying in your arms used to be the
Place where I felt heaven holding on to me
What i wouldnt give to be there right now
I cant seem to shake watching my heart walk out

When the sun decides to set in the east
Thatll be when im over you getting over me
When the steepest mountain falls into the sea
Only then will I be over you getting over me

Emotionless you told me goodbye
And even to this day im really not sure why
I never thought that perfect could end
Mabye my perceptions blinded me again
Words we didnt say are what haunt me now
Happy ever afters the page you ripped out

Was I guilty of caring too much
Did my constant devotion scare you away
When I close my eyes I dream the same dream
That we stayed in love
And youre holding me

i already know what i want.
now.. i'm just waiting to hear from him.
:)

"i will not be the first one to speak,
and if he never calls me again,
i will always think of him fondly;
as an asshole."
-sex and the city

lol. gotta love my sex and the city.
the only thing getting me through all of this.

"For I know the plans I have for you." Declares the Lord,
"Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.
Plans to give you hope and a future."

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.

i'm so happy.. like seriously!!
only 10 more fuhkin days til i move back to michigan
to be with babybaybayy biggie heffalumppp loverr boyyy!!
i miss him a lot a lottt.
he's gonna come over sunday night, even if i don't get in
til like 3am just because he wants to see me!! yayy!!
what a good boyfrienddd!!

i guesss i'm in such a good mood about seeing him because, well..
sitting across from reed and wes tonight at dinner made me realize something..
no matter how much of the "ugly" we hear about..
there are just certain things about relationships that people on the outside
will never understand.
i know they have their little tiffs.. who doesn't??
mitch and i definitely have more than our fair share.
but looking at the two of them, and their chemistry..
it was like looking in a mirror or mitch and i.
i know i write a lot of the "ugly" stuff on here.
and it's probably because, well the "bad" stuff
is the only thing i can put into words.
i can't express how happy i am about him.
and if i try, i'll just become one of those annoying bitches
who's always talking about how "great her love life is."
when really, she's just lying to make herself feel better.
i'm just honest.
sometimes i hate him, but at the end of the day..
he's the only person i ever want to be with.